'It would be cruel to separate them': Ex-girlfriend demands cat dad split up their bonded kittens after breakup, but he puts his feline family first and refuses her

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  • 01

    Am I wrong for not wanting to give my ex her cat back?

    Two kittens sleeping including 'I don't want to put them through another separation'
  • 02
    Hi I'm looking for some perspective on what's best for two young cats. My now ex and I adopted a kitten together in mid- July.
  • 03
    He's been living with me full-time because we spent most of our time at my place.
  • 04
    A few weeks later, I adopted another kitten around the same age so he'd have a companion.
  • 05
    Now they're about 5-6 months old and completely bonded. they play, eat, nap, groom, and sleep together.
  • 06
    Two kittens playing
  • 07
    They were already been separated from their original siblings when we adopted them, so I don't want to put them through another separation.
  • 08
    Since my ex and I broke up, she wants to take him back because she considers him "her" cat.
  • 09
    I told her I don't think that's fair to him or the other cat. He gets anxious when separated (meowing, scratching at doors) and she's said she doesn't plan to get him another companion.
  • 10
    I live alone and can provide a calm, consistent space for both. She says I'm being unfair because when I split with a previous long- term partner, we each kept one cat but those cats weren't bonded, and that decision was made mutually with their well- being in mind.
  • 11
    This feels different. These two are still babies, they rely on each other, and I don't want to cause them distress or anxiety just to prove a point of ownership.
  • 12
    My question is: what's best for both cats? Would separating them after two months together be seriously damaging, or could they adjust?
  • 13
    Boyfriend and girlfriend arguing
  • 14
    Has anyone experienced bonded kittens being split up and what happened afterward?
  • 15
    krispeekream I have two male cats that are a bonded pair and they were quite bonded within a matter of weeks. If she actually cares about the well-being of the cat she'll do what's in his best interest, which seems to be staying with his friend.
  • 16
    You've had the cat for the majority of its life-I would offer to help her get another cat, or even let her come spend time with them at your place (if y'all parted on decent terms) but he should stay with his friend.
  • 17
    ReasonableTime3461 It would be cruel to separate them.
  • 18
    Acceptable-Law9406 The cats should not be separated. You mentioned she doesn't plan to get the cat another companion. Would it be best to help her adopt a cat who would prefer to be the only pet?
  • 19
    BrokenBaby_Bird Offer to pay or share the fees for the adoption of another cat for her. In the best interest of the cats, if you aren't willing to separate them, you could also give her both so they are together and happy. Then adopt a cat yourself.
  • 20
    Nervous-one123 this is a tough situation, and i am sorry about the breakup. alas, you totally know what's best for them! i would not separate them under any conditions. it will lead to so much stress for everyone involved. stress, i am sure, that you can both live without.
  • 21
    it seems she's more caught up on getting a 'one-up' in this scenario than the cats well beings. to that point, do they have their rabies shots? rabies are an easy proof of ownership in a lot of countries, because you get a little chip to prove that (a) the cat has been vaccinated and (b) that they belong to you.
  • 22
    accordingly, you might consider proof of ownership in some way, incase this goes sour. good luck!
  • 23
    TryToChangeUsername You got it right: they are bonded and separating them would be cruel and is not an option. How about you offer to reimburse what she paid so far? Or offer handling getting a new cat for her (ofc from a shelter)?
  • 24
    MediumPractice7401 Can she take both of them? How bonded are you to the cats? How bonded was she to the first cat? I just feel bad bc if my hubby & I broke up & he kept our cats- I'd just DIE. I know he'd feel the same way though too. Although he works so much, they'd be better w/ me anyway. Just depends on
  • 25
    back "just because it's 'hers'"?? Lots of variables at play here. Either decision you make― make it for the benefit of the animal. So many ppl just get rid of their pet when the pet doesn't serve them anymore and it's absolutely DISGUSTING.
  • 26
    your guys' situation I guess. Are you planning on keeping these cats FOREVER no matter what? Also, it is kinda sad to split them up, but they are adaptable and it's not 100% necessary. Just being honest. Is your ex good w/ animals or does she just want the cat

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